I've made a DISCOVERY!!!!

Now..you are probably wondering what discovery I've made.

Well..I will tell you.

First of all let me just say this one thing:

Demi Lovato checking herself in for emotional and physical issues has been the best thing that has happened to me.

Now, before you jump to conclusions, let me explain my reasoning.

Whatever happened with Demi and her bandmates/friends/family is completely unknown to me. But I'm just assuming most of the articles are right. She got in a fight and then felt bad about it and then decided to get herself help.

Well I find that that was an extremely brave and responsible thing to do.

Because I myself would never just up and go to a center and seclude myself from my friends and family. It's a thought that frightens most. But she's finally decided that she cannot handle whatever it is she is dealing with by herself.

I do feel extremely bad for her, I do not like to see people I admire and are fans up in pain or in trouble. It breaks my heart.

But her doing this has made me realize how I do not ever want to end up in that position. Sure if that were to happen to me, it wouldn't make Yahoo news or The New York Times.

So coming back to my discovery.

I have discovered this:

I am in charge of my happiness.

Yes. Yes. I know what you are thinking.

"Hasn't she said that before?" or "Duh!"

But I have truly understood it today. I finally noticed how I was fine until a thought, brought on by myself, has ruined my mood! I was like "What the heck..?" I was doing just fine until I started to WORRY about something I have no control over: my future.

Apparently that's what I do..is WORRY.

Have you guys seen the movie Invictus? Or heard of the poem?

Well this is it:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul

The last 2 stanza say it all. I may get angry and upset. But underneath I'm just fine and I'm not afraid. I may not be able to control how things or people approach me, but I AM able to control how I react to the situation.

I'm so tired of being the bummy, sore loser, "everyone is out to get me" person I have been.

From now on, you will see a new Rai.

This Rai will not let anything bring her down.

She will try her very hardest to look at the bright side of EVERYTHING.

She will never again think the thought "I have too many dreams for them to come true."

She will make EVERY one of them come true.

It all comes back to Leona Lewis' "Happy"

"Don't care about all the pain in front of me, I just want to be Happy."

My goals for the rest of 2010 to May 2011:

DO NOT WORRY ABOUT:

-marriage/children

-moving out

-traveling

-career

-getting a job

-feeling the need to "go out" all the time

-getting "non-basketball prince to notice me"

ONLY CONCERNS RIGHT NOW:

-doing well in classes

-helping out my parents more

-becoming a better person mentally and physically

-catching up on my books

-volunteering

-planning your guys' graduation gifts!...I hope you like what I have planned!

So hopefully this works out!

Now moving on!

Angel: I always knew someone would get addicted to The Office hahah it's an amazing showww! I can't wait till you get to season 3-5! Those are my FAVORITESS!

Klemey: Sorry about Bookworm and her...uhm....uneccessary piece of information. :( Has Burrito said ANYTHING yet about what you sent him? Or is he still "not commenting" on it?

Angel: I think I'm going to reply Dakota's email. It's an old one that I never replied. l thought I could just ignore it and she and her memories will disappear, but they won't. I think I should give it one more shot. Please let me know what you think.

Klemey: It is currently 12:25am and I'm thinking about Sweetheart waiting for a video game. Lol. You know how you thought you thought about boys too much? I feel like I do too. With Sweetheart, Austin, Travis, Ben, Mark, and let's not forget my husband Chris Brown.

OH! I read on his website that he will have a tour in 2011 for his new album and I totally wrote in and said he needs to come to Alaska!

I HAVE A REALLY GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS. I CAN JUST..FEEL IT...IN MY HEART...

The dates haven't been released yet. I don't think they even have dates yet.

But I just feel like it's a new album, he's a new man, he's more confident, he's moving forward, and I can feel it!!!!!!!!

(By the way, if he DOESN'T come, I promise I WON'T die...I'll just hitch-hike to the nearest city he WILL be performing in :) see? brighter side! :) I can do it! )

OH. And I sent him a tweet telling him to come to Alaska too. hahahaah

Angel: I wanna go to a baby shower :( I should have one....I should lie to everyone and tell them I'm pregnant and then have a baby shower and then donate the gifts to a charity :).....and if people ask about the baby...I'll tell them.....it was a false alarm! :) Easy peasy.

Klemey: Would you come to my "fake baby shower"? You know, whenever I see a preview for Scott Pilgrim (which is a lot!) I always think of you and how you loved that movie hahaha

Angel: If So You Think You Can Dance came here for auditions, would you audition?

Klemey: I was looking at the (insert university name here) catalog and I saw Culinary Arts and I thought about the cakes you described to me! :) I can definitely see you being a baked goods chef! OOH! Have you heard of the show called "D.C Cupcakes"? It's really cool. It's on TLC and its about these 2 sisters who own a famousss bakery in Georgia and we watch them bake cupcakes and screw up and stuff! It's so fun and funny! Cuz they fight and bicker some times hahah They are like...mid-late 20s. That could be you!

Alright, finally, I'd like to say this one last thing.

CALL (insert states best radio station here) AND REQUEST THIS SONG!

AND THINK OF ME WHEN YOU HEAR/SEE IT! ISN'T HE AMAZING???? GOSH I LOVE HIM.