15 things you must know

1. Don't Chase Anyone
"Guys are like subway trains. Don't run after them; another one is on its way."

2. Don't Waste Your Time
"If he says he isn't ready for a relationship, believe him."

3. Long-Term Litmus Test
"Marry someone you want to sit next to for the rest of your life

4. Heed Your Grandparents
"My grandfather had some gems: 'Don't be with a stupid man just to be with any man.' 'A real man always takes care of his family.' 'You don't want to be walked over, and you don't want a man you can walk over, either.' And my favorite: 'Don't be a fool, Michelle. You can be anything you want, but don't be a fool.'"

5. The Necessity of Laughter
"Don't trust anyone who doesn't laugh."

6. Go Geeky
"The guys who were nerdy in high school make the best husbands."

7. Love Yourself
"To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance."

8. Kindness Counts
"You can tell a lot about a guy by how he treats your cab driver."

9. No Games
"If he likes you, you'll know. If he doesn't, you'll be 'confused.'"

10. Believe In Your Worth
"Respect yourself. I said to my ex, 'I'm not going to make you my everything if I'm only your something.'"

11. Try a Nice Guy
"I used to be into bad boys but kept getting burned. Then I heard this: 'Say no to the guys you usually say yes to, and yes to the ones you normally say no to.' I did, and it totally worked. I have a great husband now."

12. Avoid Loners
"Never marry a man who has no friends." —

13. Just Say No to Ink
"Never tattoo a guy's name on your body!"

14. Hygiene Is Non-Negotiable
"Personal hygiene is part of the package." —Jim Carrey

15. Be Yourself
"It's OK to show up at a guy's house with a dozen roses and declare your undying affection. It's OK to have too much to drink and call your ex 20 times and then to be mortally embarrassed when you realize your number must have shown up on his caller ID. It's OK, because making a fool of yourself for love is ultimately about you, how much you have to give and the distances you will travel to keep your heart wide open when everything around you makes you feel like slamming it shut and soldering it closed."