Time to Start Living in the Moment.

I tried doing this.
Live in the moment.
But certain things happen to stand in the way.
For example: money and parents.
My main dilemma is my parents.
I feel so confused about what they want me to do and be.
I feel like if I move to LA to audtion for So You Think You Can Dance to accomplish my dream as a dancer, they would hate me forever!

lol im just kidding, i don't wanna be a dancer haha
But seriously, there have been times where I have felt like doing some very rebellious things to prove to my parents that I am no longer a PUPPET nor a MUPPET.
But I don't think I could live with myself if I did the things that came to mind.....lol

Anyways, something I really want to do to have fun is have a party..since I won't get to have a wedding like in Bride Wars...I figured a party is clostest to that.

But I don't think my parents want me to have a party for graduation cuz once my mom said this.."Your choices for graduation are: a party, trip, or car. But you don't want to have a party do you?" She said it in this voice that was like forcing me to agree with her..and she would act surprised if I had Yes...so of course like the little programmed MUPPET robot I said "No I don't want a party."

But I do want a party. It would be fun...but then I doubt anyone but you guys would come...so yeah....never mind the party then.

I feel like saving up money to secretly buy a one-way ticket to New York and stay in a super cheap hotel for awhile...and find a job somewhere...and just live everyday...the way I want to.

But I don't have that kind of courage....plus I would miss you guys =]

I'm sure one day I will find out what it is that I really want to do with my life.

Hahah I'm watching In the Land of Women and Kristen Stewart is in it! haha she has blonde hair. weird.

Anyways, I guess I will talk to you guys later.
Peace Out.
-rai