Getting in touch with..

your soul is no easy task.
I feel like...things I FEEL don't match up with what I am SUPPOSED to believe.

Anyways, Klemey I have to tell you how I made myself look like a homeless rat in front of Sweetheart.

Ok, I know I said I was riding my bike to work today but I didn't..
well I am tomorrow because I have no choice.
Buses don't run tomorrow.
I don't have enough mula for a taxi.

So now I have no excuse. Blarghy.

Work today was alright.
I really need to stop saying things about dying, death, guns, and the most common..bridges.
I don't know why I "joke" about ending my life.
That whole thing has to do with my needing to THINK before I SPEAK.

I am a deeply confused person.
I now have a fear of people asking about my religion because after talking to Burrito..I felt stupid and uneducated.

Klemey, how do you do it?
How are you always happy and up-beat?
I get so jealous when I see you always smiling and laughing. (No wonder a lot of guys like you)
How do you put all negative things to the side?
How do you keep them from affecting you?

I only wish I could do the same. But instead I exert the negative tension that is within me.
-Sigh-
I should be happy.
I actually have a job now and I get to spend a lot of time chatting with friends..
My till is always decent, I get to see At&t and Sweetheart on a daily basis..
But there are still those moments where I really don't want to be alive anymore...
it's like an ongoing thing..
just today I went to Fred Meyer with Erin after work and I bought a new watch for 10 bucks and it broke. Now I don't have enough money to get me to work and back tomorrow AND take the bus on Monday.
Of course in my head I said "I wish I were dead."I mean I can't even buy something I need without it breaking. I'm just like "WhyTF does God torture me?" It's always one bad thing after another and I am so tired of it.
Even when I try to be positive and hope for the best, it all crashes down and ticks me off.
Ugh.
I wish I knew how to explain it better to you guys, but you'd just have to BE me to really understand it.

Anyways, that's one of the things I love about you Klemey, you're always happy and it reminds me that I should be happy to. :)

Random Thought:

Ne- Yo has written a lot of songs for Rihanna..

Another random..

It feels like I can never be enough for people..

I will always lack something and they will not be afraid to tell me.

Glee-ified Song at the moment:
"There's gotta be more (to life)"- Stacie Orrico